Monday 18 January 2016
Getting to 'NO' you (Adventures of L-Plate Gran)
There is a reason why it is called 'The Terrible Twos' - and it has absolutely nothing to do with clever alliteration. Child specialists and experts may drone on about 'infant separation' or the 'need for establishing the self'. The rest of us put it down to just plain cussedness!
Little G is already a fully paid up member of the club. Take, for example, the small toy dog. Every time we go out, the small toy dog comes with us. It has to walk along walls, and jump on and off steps along the way. It has to do this to the accompaniment of 'woof-woof.......woof-woof'.
Sometimes, the dog has to go back and repeat the process. I don't know why and I can't get a logical explanation out of either of them. There is also the stairgate thing. The stairgate has to be closed behind us when Little G and I go upstairs. If it is left open, we must return to the bottom of the stairs and begin our journey again.
It's like Snakes and Ladders meets Pilgrim's Progress but without any allegory. Or dice. Then there is the dancing. Dancing takes place in the kitchen. Only in the kitchen. And nowhere else. Ever. I'm hoping she'll grow out of this by the time she's sixteen or her social life could be rather limited.
Meanwhile we muddle along together in a baffling world of ever-changing but terribly important rules which one of us, (me) continually fails to get right, and the other one, (her) persistently fails to provide a logical explanation for. Bit like life, really ...
To be continued... ....