Saturday 26 March 2022

The iPhone has landed!

As some of you know (see previous blog if you don't) I have recently parted company with a certain media platform, represented by a small winged blue avian. Now, I am NOT the sort of individual to reacts well to be chucked off stuff (also see previous blog), so having tried various return pathways, and being told '*itter says no', it was decided (note the distancing phrase) to buy an iPhone.

It seemed a good idea when suggested. I could join the 99.9% of the population. No more lurking about in the Doro cave. Bright new horizons of communication, bathed in the sunshine of up-to-dateness beckoned. I was seduced. My only stipulation was that the new phone had to be RED.

And it arrived. And it was red. And so the nightmare began. Going from the dumbPhone to this phone was like landing on a new planet without a Lonely Planet travel guide. In the past few days I have reached levels of incompetence so low you couldn't limbo under them.

1. I thought ALL these devices were called iPhones. Yup. Only was abused of this when I met a friend for coffee and was told that her phone was a Samsung.

2. You know that thing where the optician says: 'So, what's the lowest line you can read on the screen?' and your brain goes: 'What line?' That. They don't make these devices for the myopic, do they?

3. It doesn't like my cold finger (if you wish to sing 'Cold Finger' at this point, please don't). 

4. Autocorrect. The typist's worst enema. I bought a lovely jumper for Small in the sale, took a picture and sent it to You Must Be Mad in New York. The jumper was by Boden. NOT BIDEN - OK???

5. I have lost 25.8k lovely followers by being chucked off *witter. Given my lack of competence, I will probably never get them all back.

But. Rome wasn't burned in a day. And in 3 weeks, Little G (and Small) are coming to the UK for a visit, so I shall pick her brain, because even an 8 year old has to be more savvy than I am right now. Meanwhile it's a case of onward through the fog. Or  'frog' as autocorreect would probably say.


  1. Oh dear, the trials and tribulations of technology. I wish you luck and buckets of patience in getting to grips with your new robot overlord. 😁

  2. Oh boy, how I can relate!

    Stick with it (you kinda have to, these days, lacking any sensible alternative!)

    I tried Samsung first, and threw it back in a colossal temper a day later. Much later, (it took me a long time to get over the Samsung) I was persuaded to try an iPhone. Good old Apple, I was told. So, I did. I have been delighted with how easy it is (most of the time) but do have to frequently converse with my son, who seems to love the horrid things. To be honest, the part I love best is the camera!

    Best wishes Carol, from another technophobe. (I think that means I'm old, not stupid!)

    1. I can only type with one middle finger, and it is either words or punctuation, but not both!

  3. You have my sympathy, Carol. I think I can share your low bar with you when it comes to techie 'telligence.. I'd have to crawl under it on my belly, mine is so low. Good luck! As you say, eight-year-olds manage these things with almost stupefying ease, so I'm sure Little G or You Must Be Mad will be able to help.

    1. The youngsters are so much more at ease with this stuff!


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