And so we bid farewell to Operation 2, and another small piece of me is on its way to a lab to be scrutinized. One way to lose weight, though not one I'd recommend. Frustratingly, I had to go through the same three blocks of paperwork with three different members of staff answering the same questions as I'd done 23 days ago when I had Operation 1.
They had my files sitting in front of them. They could have saved time and trees by just writing: see above. Paperwork. Of which more anon. Also according to the hospital, my height is now 5ft 10 inches, which means I am bucking the universal trend and getting taller as I get older. I have always been 5 ft 8. Either that, or they are now including my hair as a separate component.
I ended up discharging myself this time, because the Powers That Be had closed wards over the weekend and there wasn't a bed for me. This would have meant staying in the Recovery Room until a bed materialized somewhere, so that I could go and sit on it while the ward staff filled in the relevant paperwork to discharge me. As I resolved ages ago never to be in to Mr Stupid, and the Recovery staff said I was OK to go, I went.
Which brings us to New Year's Resolutions. Some people make Resolutions, some have Resolutions foisted upon them. It has been pointed out to me by BH, in whose company I spent a lovely Christmas break, that I always leave kitchen top cupboard doors open. This was initially hotly denied, but in the face of empirical evidence, I agreed. It might explain the ongoing and daily minor head trauma. The 2014 NYR is to close them after use. So far I have to record a success rate of zero%.
Mind, I am in good company: my friend Lissy not only leaves cupboard doors open, she also leaves drawers out and doesn't replace the kettle on its stand, according to Designer Dave, who treated us to a demonstration with commentary when I went round last week. He has irritating habits too: Lissy and I were driving back from London Colney, where we'd gone to return stuff to M&S (universal post - Christmas activity round here), when she observed that Designer Dave always carries out a running remark-fest on other drivers, which makes her so mad that she has threatened not to drive with him any more.
I was doing precisely the same thing at the time but she'd said nothing, which leads me to the interesting conclusion that bad habits are relative ... especially when committed by relatives. But back to paperwork. At Hedges Towers the time has come to fill in our self-assessment tax forms. This (apart from Ikea flat-packs with instructions in Swedish and no allen key) is the one thing that causes most strife in the house, because there is always a point where the reconciliation of the various amounts doesn't work and the sum of all my carefully kept receipts and statements and invoices and pay slips is 34p out somewhere.
It happens every year. I dread it, but alas, the whole ghastly soul-destroying, gut-churning, head-banging, marriage-disrupting shebang is kicking off once again, even as you are reading about it. So if you'll please excuse me, there's a top cupboard door waiting for me, and it's got my name on ...
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If you get a running start, maybe the concussion will be so bad the government will feel sorry for you! LOL, like that'll happen!ReplyDelete
Oh goodness! Loved this: bad habits are relative especially when experienced by relatives. Sooo true. A wonderful CH take on the state of the union at Hedges Towers. I hope you are on the mend, lovely CarolStar!ReplyDelete
Hate this time of year ..... dunno how it is done in your parts of the world....Delete
I think it's quite sweet that BH loves you so much he urges caution regarding the open cupboard doors....now if you and I were flat mates...need I say more?...*guffaws*....ReplyDelete
Glad to hear you being so cheerful Carol, but hospitals and Tax returns at the same time? AAgh!Delete
Roll on February, or do you have other nasties in the pipeline? I do hope not.
Hopefully not...but who knows?Delete
Haha. Very amusing, as always. I'm sure I could be found guilty of appalling domestic lapses, even worse than leaving cupboards open, but I can at least feel smug in that I've already paid my tax bill for last year. Good luck.ReplyDelete
...brilliant, m'Lady :0ReplyDelete
I gave up self-assessment last yeae. HMRC weren't too happy, but I told them it was their turn!ReplyDelete
I await that glorious day!!Delete
OMG, hospital and HMRC (aka "We've got what it takes to take what you've got"). You're amazing, I would be hysterical by now. Your BH sounds a sweetie, hopefully a good shoulder to lean on. Every best wish! (@Sparky249)ReplyDelete
Thanks Tnoy. He is lovely...though a tad stressed today!!Delete
Oooh, the running commentary... I do that one! Plus, the additional annoyance of 'reading out perfectly visible road signs as we drive past'. Why! Nobody needs me saying '15 miles to Sheffield' randomly in the middle of a nice drive. Anyway, Carol, I hope you are feeling recovered from the double whammy of tax and hospitals...you and your Tall Hair.ReplyDelete
Thanks. On behalf of the tall hair also. Perhaps it should have its own Twitter Account?Delete
All irritating habit are relative. It's because we spend so much time with them, I.e. The relatives and the irritating habits! I too have a regular spot in the M&S returns queue and that's at any time of the year and it's because I hate queuing to try things on. This is not logical as the returns queue is always longer but *shrugs*ReplyDelete
Don't get me started on hospital incompetences. Well done you for discharging yourself. I've sat many times with an extremely ill Rod after his stem cell transplant waiting for them to decide if this poor man running a scarily high temperature can be found a bed. Now I can feel my blood pressure rising just typing this.
So glad they've now taken all the nasty bits from you. Let that be an end of it! Take care of yourself and mind your head on that.... Too late!!
Hahaha ,,,, I am just amazed how once we gt into hospital we lose our sense of identity ...the 2 patients next to me immediately said: 'If she's discharging herself, so are we. ' We 3 then did a slow run to the exit!Delete