Friday 17 May 2013

Timewasting with Veolia Water

A slightly bizarre week at Hedges Towers. A few nights ago BH was out for his reluctant nocturnal 'walking-is-good-for-you' walk when he suddenly noticed water gushing up in a huge fountain from the middle of the road. Being the concerned individual that he is, he immediately got out his mobile and rang Veolia Water to report it.

Big Mistake.

Ten minutes later, after a long wait and on a call that he was paying for, the person at the other end was still far more interested in trying to elicit his personal details than in alerting the engineers to a very burst pipe and a serious flood. In the end, he hung up. Next time, he says he won't bother. So much for being a responsible citizen. Explains perfectly why the Great Flood caused such universal devastation. I can just imagine the scenario:

Babylon Water:  Hello, you are through to Babylon Water.  How can I help you?

Noah:  Listen, I've been told by somebody who really knows about these things that there's going to be rain for the next 40 days and nights and all who dwell upon the earth will be wiped out.

BW:  I'm sorry: you are?

Noah: Noah.

BW:  Can you spell that for me please.

Noah: Listen: the earth is going to be destroyed by floodwater.

BW: Could you give me your address and the number you're calling from?

Noah: You're not listening are you? The whole world is about to be flooded. You need to alert people.

BW:  I'm sorry, who told you this again?

Noah:  God.

BW:  Is that God with a 'g'?

Noah:  It's actually beginning to rain heavily now....

BW:  Could you give us the contact details of your informant.

Noah:  I think we're going to have to get into our ark.

BW:  I'm sorry, we don't deal with homelessness.

Noah:  Please. Just warn everyone. The floodgates are about to open. Look, I have to go - I need to get all these animals on board.

BW:  We don't deal with stray animals either.

Noah: (puts down phone in disgust) I give up.

On another separate front, I have been accused of bullying one of our beloved local councillors. Yes, I know. Barely credible, isn't it? It happened the day before the local elections. I was checking the Green councillor's Twitter timeline, and discovered Tweets from a Tory councillor and from the leader of the Labour group on the District council applauding the EU neonicotinoid ban.

Tory Dude (who seemed unaware that his Great Leader voted against the ban) went further, declaring his love of all things wild and the need to preserve them for posterity. Couldn't resist, so tweeted words to effect that if he loved wildlife, why was his council planning to kill off all our legally protected Roman Snails.

Had tea. When I returned to Twitter, unbelievably, the leader of Labour group had piled back in and accused me of bullying poor Tory Dude, who is, by the way, an adult, not 12 years old and so quite capable of defending himself. Re-tweeted this with great glee. By next morning - the day of the local elections, his and Tory Dude's tweets had mysteriously been deleted. Classic example of locking the stable door after the bullshit has bolted.
The latest leak....

** Re: Veolia. I contacted them via their website to complain about the jobsworth who dealt with BH, and the cost of the call. So far, so nothing. Leak got fixed. But sadly, there's now another leak ....

24 comments:

  1. Funny how people who work in Sales "value-your-call" by almost invariably answering immediately.
    While those who work in anything that requires THEM to take action "value-your-call" by putting your call in a queue, before obfuscating and trying to sell you something else - and where everyone works to pre-prepared script.
    Welcome to rip-off Britain - where choice of monopoly-provider is paramount.

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  2. I pointed out the 'new' leak to the tarmac guys. 'Nothing to do with us,' they said. 'You'll have to contact the water company' .....!!!!

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  3. It makes you wonder what criteria they use for the job description when employing these people, doesn't it? Qualifications needed: must be robotic, a job's worth and have no sense of humour whatsoever, let alone any imagination :-) Love it Carol!

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  4. Moral: BH should have called upstairs.
    Gives a whole new meaning to 'watery ways', eh, Val? ;)

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    Replies
    1. Haha, it does indeed, Christina. I'll act as backup Ark!

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  5. I want to read more of Noah...YOUR Noah that is....( not the biblical one...he had no credibility at all )...I like him and I feel he should be a regular feature. As for your second leak...hm...how Noah-esque...don't you think?...still maintaining the 'pairs' theme!...
    Thanks for yet another Saturday morning chortle...councillors an' all....

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    Replies
    1. Welcome!!! Appreciate your support and 'commentary'.

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  6. Haha. Thanks, Carol. Two rants for the price of one. Is that a pair of rants?

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  7. Am in Venice. Seems to be a leak or two here ....

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Don't ask Veolia Water to fix it!!! And have a great time!

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  8. I like your Noah too. Tried his best to warn people, poor chap but, like Veolia, they didn't listen until they actually began to float!
    As for your poor Tory, I can feel a certain sympathy with him. Carol in full flight must be terrifying - rather like the tsunami in Noah's day! You see it coming but you can't escape!

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  9. Carol, you bully! LOL That's too funny.

    Loved your take on the phone call. ;)

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  10. Why is it if you call someone on their BS *you* are the bully? I love it!

    And I love your take on BH's call to Veolia. Some people in these call centers seem totally devoid of common sense - just follow the script, regardless of the situation.

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    Replies
    1. Should have copied it!!! Hahahaha. Another leak has started!

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  11. Nice to see both sides of the political aisle so supportive of each other's feelings. Now, if they could just get together and do the work of their constituents, I'm sure you'd tweet something nice to them.

    By the way, I've been coveting that pink car of yours. I've recently returned to driving after 19 years and hoped to tool around Las Vegas in one of my own. Apparently there are a few Morris Minors in the U.S., but 99% of them belong to one man living in Port Townsend, Washington!

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  12. Go online ----- there are 2cv club's in the states - someone muct have one for sale! try 2CVTV ....has lots... may have to pay for shipping...Good luck!

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  13. I can't believe that you would bully a poor innocent little MP! Love your flood reporting Noah! Made me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha, I am accused of all sorts of things by that council!!! Do I care? Non!!

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  14. More corporate *bleep*, eh? This kind of stuff drives me absolutely bonkers, which is why I always appreciate posts like this that help me laugh about it! And I agree with an earlier comment...more Noah!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Craig -- if you scan earlier posts, you will see that me and him are turning into Grumpy Old Sods re bureauocracy!

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    2. We're all headed there eventually! Might as well slide into the darkness with grace and humor. Or at least humor. :)

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