Save the #NHS!

UPDATED 15th January 2016

On Monday, I had my 2nd year checkup at the Breast Care Unit at Luton & Dunstable. I had a mammogram and was seen by the consultant quickly and efficiently. I am cancer clear again - BUT my point still is: I had all this treatment 'free'.

On Wednesday, my husband had a bad fall - we thought he'd broken his wrist. A visit to the Minor Injuries Unit at St Albans and an X-ray and bandage later, he is home and recovering. Again, 'free'.

Neither of us, with our age and medical histories, would be taken on by any sane insurance company. I believe that this current government wants to do to the NHS what Margaret Thatcher did to the miners: destroy it. I stand with everybody fighting to save this wonderful and truly egalitarian institution.

As part of my research into Victorian London, I've been looking at mid-Victorian medical training and surgery. It was a fascinating time - just on the cusp of the surgeon as ''star'' as in: 'I can whip this leg off in 3 minutes; don't bother with anaesthetic, just give the patient a leather strap to bite on' to the realization that sedation played a huge part in the ultimate recovery process and that patient comfort and saving lives was more important than scoring reputation points.

The training was very different in those days. If you didn't have a degree from Oxbridge, which was a fast track way of entering medicine, you paid to be a dresser or apprenticed yourself to a surgeon at one of the country's teaching hospitals, where you watched endless dissections, took a rather basic exam and 4 vivas, and eventually there you were. Have Knife & License, can operate. The research has taken on extra piquancy because as some of you know, I was admitted to hospital just before Christmas for a breast cancer operation.

Amazingly, surgeons were performing my operation in the 1860's. The survival rates were not high, although some women did survive. They didn't have a big arrow stamped on their shoulder pointing to the bit to be operated on as I did though. Nor, bizarrely would they have had their leg labelled - presumably in case it got bored during the op and wondered off. And in those days they were not injected with radioactive blue dye. Surgery has come a long way! (I have to report that I do not now glow in the dark. Sadly).

However my main point is that in 1861, the prospect of my operation was not only fraught with fear and pain and a pretty low success rate, but was largely dependent upon your finances. There was no ''free at the point of delivery'' option. If you were poor, you just suffered terribly and then died. Whereas I had the services of a top Consultant, a skilled anaesthetist and a Registrar all highly trained, and FREE.

The government, as did its Conservative predecessor under Mrs Thatcher, regards FREE as a dirty word and seems determined to control, outsource, de-fund and dismantle the NHS. I experienced some of the results of their malign handiwork when the nurses in the recovery room were so busy getting my paperwork sorted that they forgot to discharge me with any pain relief - I have to report that varying red wine with Prosecco works admirably!

I am so grateful for the NHS - for the ''right'' to medical care 'free at the point of use'. Given my 'swarm' immigrant origins and plebeian status, I doubt I'd have been able to afford my operation in 1861, whatever my chances of survival. And I will fight for the right of others to have the same marvellous treatment that I had. A return to Victorian values? No thanks!

Beneath the Crinoline: Suffering to be Beautiful, With Carol Hedges

Beneath the Crinoline: Suffering to be Beautiful, With Carol Hedges

Suck It Up!

A couple of weeks ago, I read a blog that has made a huge difference to the way I now view and deal with critical comments, Twitter trolls and Amazon reviews. Sadly, I can't recall the name of the blogger - but it was a male American writer, which narrows it down somewhat.

Basically his message was: Do Not Respond. Ever. His reasoning ran thus: As a writer, you are The Brand. People judge what you write by how you present yourself. Thus, if you come over as whiny, defensive or argumentative -  however justified, prospective readers will back away.

Twitter is a very fast moving medium. A tweet has about a four second life, before it is replaced by others. Ignoring a nasty comment means that is is gone in an instant. As soon as you engage with the remark, you and the sender and the ensuing exchanges become visible to everyone. Whether you ''win'' or not, you will be seen by thousands of people. Will it enhance your ''brand'' for this to happen? If not, don't engage, he advised.

The same could be said for one star reviews. Most readers know what sort of person writes a one star review - either they got hold of the wrong book, didn't understand the book, didn't like the book (fair enough) or are another writer with a new book out, trying to diss the book. Ignoring them and their comments gives the impression that you are a bigger person with a wider vision, he counselled.

This rang true for me: I had just recently witnessed a couple of writers receiving bad reviews and dealing with it by complaining on social media sites - ok, their choice to do so, they were clearly upset and it was important to them to say so. But the result? Everyone instantly hopped over to Amazon to read them. Yes, maybe their good friends piled in with supportive digital shoulders, but I'm not sure this was a professional way of dealing with it. You may disagree.

As soon as we have published a book, we become less important than the readers' experience. In fact I don't think we, the sensitive tortured artistic little soul, figures at all. Witness the friend who recently rang up to see how I was, then went on to tell me at some length that they liked books written in chapters - which I had failed to do in Diamonds & Dust. (For future reference: I write in episodes, not chapters. Episodes. Got that? And I intend to write the sequel in episodes too. Pretentious? Moi?)

The lessons I learned from reading the blog were extremely useful when I started tweeting promos to Diamonds & Dust. A person on Twitter, let us call them X, (though this is not their real name) decided they did not like a particular strand of my advertising. Not at all. And they fired off a series of unpleasant tweets, informing me of their displeasure and accusing me of all sorts of stuff.

Did you see the tweets? Probably not. Why not? Because I did not respond. And I blocked the person, so that the comments are not there any more. The temptation (and it was very very tempting, believe me) was to take them on. I had to have a deep breath, stand back and ask myself: what would be the point? And I decided there was no point. I wanted people to focus on the book, not on the spat.

It has been a hard lesson to learn, especially for someone like me, who has a Degree in Confrontation. But learn it I have. Hopefully. Until the next troll sticks its head out from under the bridge ...


If you would like to read a free sample of Diamonds & Dust you can do so here  
US readers can do so here

The PINK SOFA'S CHRISTMAS PLAY

Yes, exclusively for you, as a: ''Thank you'' for your loyal readership over the past year, THE PINK SOFA would like to welcome you to the Writing Room Theatre. Your seat has been reserved in the front row so if you'd like to settle down, sort out your sweets and snacks and suspend your disbelief pretty well as far as it will go, let us transport you back to a starry December 24th night in a little town called Bethlehem, a very long time ago. 

The curtain rise on a small studio, with an unlucky DJ who has got the graveyard shift

                                             A Starry Night In Bethlehem

DJ: And a very good evening if you've just joined us. This is Radio Bethlehem, broadcasting to Judea, Samaria and outlying regions of Galilee. That last track was Swing Low Sweet Chariot by Moses & the Pharoahs. I'm Zak, you friendly DJ keeping you company right through the night, and we've got an exciting programme lined up for you, so without further delay, let's find out who's up and about and what's happenin' tonight in the great city of Bethlehem. And first off, let's go over to our OB Unit. Jake my friend, are you there?

JAKE: Yes, Zak, I'm here.
DJ: I gather you're with some shepherds who are abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. Am I right?
JAKE: (pause) No.
DJ: Er ... right. So where are you?
JAKE: Well, I'm out in the fields, but there aren't any shepherds.
DJ: No shepherds?
JAKE: Nope. Definitely no shepherds anywhere.
DJ: So where are they?
JAKE: Dunno. They were here last night. I guess they must've all gone off somewhere.
DJ: So does that mean you're not going to do one of your incisive interviews probing the intimate details of pastoral life and the place of the small agri-business in the rural economy?
JAKE: Sorry. I can give you some nice recipes for roast lamb?
DJ: Maybe not right now. OK, listeners, there are no shepherds abiding in the fields keeping watch over their flocks by night, but never fear, stick with me because we've still got a very exciting show lined up for you here on Radio Bethlehem. So let's move swiftly on to Naomi, our lovely weather girl who's on the roof on the studio. Naomi, are you there?
NAOMI: Hello Zak.
DJ: And what's the weather doing tonight, Naomi?
NAOMI: Well, you know, it's night, so the weather isn't doing very much really.
DJ: Anything exciting happening out there?
NAOMI: Well, the moon is out and I can spot a star. That's about it really.
DJ: Can you give us a few more details?
NAOMI: Um ..the moon is round, and the star is kind of silver and twinkly and very bright.
DJ: No comets, shooting stars, unusual constellation patterns - possibly the odd supernova?
NAOMI: No.
DJ: Son et Lumiere? Bonfires? Firework displays? Small child waving a sparkler?
NAOMI: Can't see any from up here. It's just a perfectly ordinary night. With a moon and a star.
DJ: Thanks Naomi. I'm sure all our listeners will be really interested in that. And now, before we play you some more music, let's go over to our Man About Town for a really exciting report on Bethlehem's hip and happenin' night life. Matt - hi! Where are you?
MATT: Zak - hi.  So I'm standing right outside the Camel and Pitta Bread Inn just off the main square.
DJ: Matt, I gather there have been some huge logistical problems in town tonight on account of the number of visitors to the city. Rumour has it that there is no room at the inn. Can you confirm?
MATT: So earlier today I spoke to the friendly innkeeper here at the Camel and Pitta Bread Inn and he told me there haven't been any problems. He's been able to find rooms for everybody who's turned up.
DJ: I see. So you're saying there are no major riots taking place in the streets of Bethlehem as you speak?
MATT: No.
DJ: No cartloads of disgruntled tourists and holiday makers causing mayhem? No unnecessary acts of mindless vandalism and anti-social behaviour?
MATT: Nope. Everything's really quiet. Not even a doggie barking. There were some shepherds earlier on but they seem to have gone now.
DJ: Well thanks for that Matt. And there you have it, listeners: there are no shepherds abiding in the fields, so homeless people in the streets. Oh - and there is a star in the sky. In other words, it's a perfectly ordinary night in Bethlehem and nothing remotely interesting or exciting is happening.  Anywhere. (under breath)  Sheesh, why me? Right ... let's have some more music then.

                                                            The End

So as the actors step forward to receive your applause, it only remains for all of us at Hedges Towers to wish you A Very Happy Christmas. The PINK SOFA will be out and about over the festive season singing carols to raise money for its favourite charity: Rehouse Abandoned and Derelict Sofas. You may be unfortunate enough to find it on your doorstep. Prompt payment will always ensure it goes away.

The Victorians and Sex

                                            

Queen Victoria loved it. The morning after her wedding night she wrote ecstatically in her diary that sex was  ''a foretaste of heaven''. Unfortunately she did not enjoy what came after the nights of bliss with her beloved Albert as one pregnancy followed another. (Nineteenth century birth control was rudimentary and consisted of: abstinence, withdrawal, sheaths made of animal intestines - the advice was to wash them out between use, the introduction of a piece of sponge into the vagina to guard the mouth of the womb, or by squirting tepid water into the vagina after sex.)

Given these options, it is hardly surprising that Queen Victoria proceeded to give birth consecutively to nine children. Even if she had not enjoyed the procreative aspect, she'd have little say in the matter. After marriage, a woman's possessions, and this included her body, became her husband's. If he wanted sex, it was her duty to fulfil his needs.

Many well-brought up Victorian girls married with only the remotest idea of what awaited them sexually. The story in Diamonds & Dust of Lady Caroline Hartington, who ''tried to run away after the unspeakableness of the wedding night'' is actually based on a real event - my maternal grandmother, married at 16 to a much older man, supposedly ran back to her parents the day after the wedding. And was returned forthwith.

The same notion that girls arrived at their wedding night pure, sexless and ignorant, to be awakened (or not) by her husband can be seen in the forlorn comment of  Mary Sidgewick, married in 1859 at the age of 18 to a much older man. She later wrote in her diary: ' how I cried at Paris....the nights!'

It wasn't just young women who were in for a shock: John Ruskin allegedly was unable to consummate his marriage when he discovered on the wedding night that his bride had pubic hair. His idea of female beauty was derived from the classical Greek statues he'd seen on his travels and in the British Museum. His reaction and expectations differ little from many young men nowadays, who expect girls to be entirely hairless in all areas, as this is what they have seen on porn sites.

Of course, like their 21st century counterparts, men could always find their pleasure before or beyond the marital bed: ''London in 1860 is notorious for filth and obscenity. There are, as nearly as can be ascertained,five hundred and nine prostitutes, if you believe the Return of the Number of Brothels and Prostitutes within the Metropolitan Police Area.'' Diamonds & Dust. Sadly the same was not true for women, who were expected to remain pure and unsullied until their wedding. Or at least, not get caught....

The age of consent in 1860 was 12 and had been since the sixteenth century. Sex with a girl under 10 was a felony; with a girl between 10 and 12 was a misdemeanour. The age of consent was raised to 13 in 1875 and to 16 in 1885. There were however places where men could go for sex with very young children, who were known colloquially as ''green fruit''. The poor unfortunate victim would be taken to a room with well-padded walls, where nobody would hear the screams as they were raped. Sadly, little changes but technology: now such an event would be filmed, and shared on numerous websites. In the book, George Osborne also refers to the fictitious 'Mrs Frost's' where young girls who were virgins could be had.

We get the impression that the Victorians were all prudes and sexually repressed. Nothing could be further from the truth! This was the start of the ''info'' era, and there were manuals, pamphlets, and advice books aplenty, if you knew where to buy them. Not to mention saucy photographs. And if you were a well-brought up young person living in London in 1860, whose parents declined to tell you the facts of life, a quick stroll down Holywell Street off the Strand, the centre of the erotic and pornographic book trade couldn't fail to bring enlightenment - and a blush to your maidenly cheek.

If you would like to read a free sample of my new novel Diamonds & Dust, A Victorian Murder Mystery, you can do so here . US readers can do so here

Being a Mummy: Disgruntled of St Albans

Being a Mummy: Disgruntled of St Albans

A Woman's Wisdom: Guest blog - ‘’Fan’’-tastic! by author Carol Hedge...

A Woman's Wisdom: Guest blog - ‘’Fan’’-tastic! by author Carol Hedge...: Are you a bit of a flirt? Do you sometimes catch an attractive man’s eye, then deliberately look away. Give him a little knowing smile....

Could YOU Write The Next Bestseller?

Good Housekeeping, that bastion of recipes you cut out but never make, and clothes meant for thinner, more glamorous women who are not you, is running another of its literary competitions. Last time, the comp was about self publishing, and I got very cross about it and wrote a cross blog. You can see the result here.

This latest comp (see title) is equally cross-making on many levels. Firstly, the equation of writing with ''bestseller'' is misleading as it suggests that there is very little kudos or purpose writing a book unless you intend it to join the 0.00000001% of those that have attained ''bestseller'' status.

Because ...  nowhere is there any definition of what defines a 'bestseller'' apart from the implicit subtext that it equates with money: £250,000 ''advance'' is offered to the winner, plus 'advice' from an agent and a publisher. This advice will inevitably involve rewriting the whole thing, then altering and tailoring the book to fit the zeitgeist of the publisher's list. In other words, many such books are not written, they are created in-house.

You don't believe me? Most of the 'bestsellers' from 50 Shades to Harry Potter have achieved fame thanks to re-writes, coupled with the carefully structured publicity campaign of a crack marketing team. Some aspect of the writers' lives or experience has been seized upon and a narrative built around it. Exposure is everything. The classic example of this? My former editor at Usborne was one of the 25+ to reject the unsolicited mss of Harry Potter, before Ms Rowling got an agent, who was able to place the book. The editor did not even remember reading it. Go figure.

The comp also features three successful writers who offer some useful and sound advice to the would-be literary star. However, the words 'hits', and 'bestseller' and 'top of the book charts' occur with such frequency that it says more to me about their reason for being picked than the good advice offered.

Also, the comp makes no mention of the fact that many popular books have achieved their position solely on word of mouth. You read it, like it and recommend it to a friend. The buzz grows, the book sells, and suddenly the writer is topping Bookseller or Amazon lists. Nobody can set down the formula for that. Nor for the 'slow burn' book that might take years to rise from the general pool - though this is less likely to happen today, as publishers want fast results.

Nor is there any mention of the hard work most writers put in day by day to publicise their book. Sales do not happen by themselves. Sadly, there is also not a single mention of the fact that writing a 'bestseller' is by no means the end of it. Once fame and fortune has beaten a path to your door, you will be under immense pressure to write the ''next'' bestseller, followed by the one after that.

So do I think you should not aim high? Absolutely not. I believe you always write looking at the stars, but aware that your feet are planted on the ground. Would I have liked to have written a ''bestseller''? Maybe when I started out being published, yes. Now, with 12 published books and many more unpublished ones, I really don't care any more, deriving much pleasure from a reviewer that ''gets'' the book, or someone who has enjoyed reading it and takes the time to tell me. However, if you want to go in for the competition, go for it. Good luck, but keep a tight hold on your integrity.

If you would like to read a free sample of my new novel Diamonds&Dust, A Victorian Murder Mystery, you can do so here . US readers can do so here

Victorian Values: Location, location. location

''A starry night. Both above and below, for at their brightly-lit Park Lane town house, Sir William Snellgrove and his elegant wife Lady Harriet are holding a party. This lavish event is taking place just a stone's throw away from some of the worst slum dwellings in London, where families live ten to a room in damp crumbling buildings, sleeping on soiled straw or nothing, burning floorboards for heat and using the gap underneath as a toilet.'' Diamonds & Dust

An elegant town house

1860's London was a city of vast contrasts. Beautiful, elegant Georgian or Palladian squares housed virtually gated communities, with Watch Boxes at each corner manned by policemen, to keep out non-residents. Many other Londoners were crammed into buildings that had survived the Great Fire, or had been thrown up by speculators to meet the needs of the thousands of incomers, Irish, Jewish, Italian and French who flooded into the city from abroad or from the countryside to work in the shops, factories and 'dark Satanic' mills of the great metropolis.

In each of my Victorian novels, various authentic locations are used to set the story in its time. Many of them still survive, almost as they may have looked at the time. The terrible overcrowded slums and rookeries have all gone ... though it is a moot point whether they are creeping back, in the form of  ''beds in sheds'' housing a new wave of desperately poor immigrants seeking work and a better life.

Russell Square is where Romanian Countess Eleanore von Schwartzenburg stayed on her visit to the city, and where she met her gruesome end. In 1860 it contained ''grand terraced houses where the bankers,the merchants, the Sirs and my noble Lords lived. Green painted iron railings surround the plane-tree'd gardens, the statue of Lord Bedford at the centre and the pump on the east side'' 

The Square still has its plane-treed gardens, but the statue has been moved to the south entrance.

Russell Square as it is today

The statue of Lord Bedford 

The book follows the fortunes of three women. The youngest, 18 year old Josephine King, lives in ''St John's Wood, with its fashionable and shabby-chic villas''. At the time, the district was known as ''The wicked wood'' for its louche and slightly bohemian inhabitants - intellectuals and the newly monied whose morals and lifestyle were a little more relaxed and unbuttoned than the class above it. The houses had been built as the city extended northwards.

''She mounts the steps and rings the bell''

.

The ''wicked wood'' today 

A ''discrete little villa''

Both St John's Wood and nearby Maida Vale were notorious for prostitutes - not the shabby street girls of the Haymarket, but established mistresses of well to do men. They lived in little villas, rented or bought for them by their lovers. The fictitious Endell Terrace, home of the prostitute Lilith Marks who makes an appearance in all three books, is described as: 'a row of modern whitewashed villas, with black wrought-iron railings at the front. Several villas have canopied walkways that lead from the front door to the gate, discreetly screening visitors from prying eyes.'' Diamonds&Dust 

That these locations survive to this day is testament to the wealth or gentility of the people who lived there. The Victorians had an effective method of slum clearance - they pulled down the houses, often to make way for railways, which all throughout the1860s turned much of London into one big building site. The residents were not re-housed, merely turned out onto the streets to find alternative accommodation wherever they could - much like the ''Bedroom Tax'' has forced many families to do today.

A poor area still exists, though not in its original form. Carnaby Street, once part of a notorious rookery lies behind Oxford Street. In the 1860s it housed many seamstresses and home workers who served the new big department stores in Regent Street, existing on poverty wages so that the affluent classes could purchase the luxury items for sale. In one book, Isabella Thorpe orders a beautiful evening dress from one such store, demanding that it will be ready to wear next day: ''She does not know that the job of sewing the underskirts will be given to a thinly-clad young woman in a slum attic in Carnaby Street. They will be carefully checked for bugs and fleas upon delivery.'' 
                                                                                                               Diamonds & Dust

For anybody visiting London, there is a wealth of wonderful Victorian buildings to see. I recommend taking a bus ride to the West End - top deck for preference. You cannot fail to be amazed by the wonderful mix of architectural styles. The Victorians built stuff to last. From high class shopping parade to sewers, they have left their mark everywhere.

The PINK SOFA welcomes Jonathon Fletcher

Jon is another of those amazing people I met on Twitter. Not many people would use a scary picture of themselves holding a weapon as a cover to their own book. Yes, that IS him. The PINK SOFA is hiding behind itself. Jon has helped and advised me with techie stuff, and is always on hand with gardening tips. And he writes amazing books, as you're about to discover. A truly talented man! With his own space weapon. As the festive seasson is upon us, I have broken out the Danish Butter Cookie tin, and there is freshly brewed coffee to go with it. Over to you Space Captain:

''I grew up in Stockport near Manchester and after school completed an art foundation and then went on to a film and animation degree in Newcastle upon Tyne. As I have always been a science fiction fan, my final year film was a sci-fi epic called “Unity” which I did all the special effects for. After the degree my first job was as a prop maker at Cosgrove Hall Films in Chorlton-cum-hardy where I worked on “Brambly Hedge”, “Rocky and the Dodos” and Gerry Anderson’s “Lavender Castle”. After about a year there I left to help set up a new animation company with a great bunch of people and became head of the props department at Hot Animation in Altrincham. I worked at Hot for around nine years in which time I predominantly worked on the first fourteen series of “Bob the Builder”, eventually becoming Art Director on that show. I also did occasional work on “Pingu” and various pilots.

When the company was closed down and I was made redundant, I fell back on my other passion, gardening. I took my redundancy money, bought a van and tools and became a full-time gardener.I always have a lot of free time in the winter and also felt that I needed an outlet for my artistic side. I hit upon the idea of self publishing on Amazon and my first Novella “Josiah Trenchard Part One: The Might of Fortitude” was published in October 2012. Self publishing draws on my experience working with scripts in the film and TV industry and I build models for the covers and then Photoshop the artwork, a skill I picked up working as an Art Director.

The idea for my books came directly from my final year degree film. It was a sixteen minute short science fiction film entitled “Unity”. Ever since I made that film I have been developing the ideas as scripts and those scripts have now become the basis for the Josiah Trenchard series of novellas and the forthcoming “Unity” series of novels. I was heavily influenced by Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation” series, the TV show “X-Files” and films like “Aliens” and “Bladerunner”, so the books reflect those. They’re military sci-fi with a story arc and sub-plot that is closer to something you would see in “X-files” or “Fringe”. Josiah Trenchard is a separate mini-series based in the same universe but following different characters and events. I wanted to test the waters of self publishing with something small before I put all my effort into one massive novel that may have flopped. So far, Trenchard is doing quite well and readers seem to like the series, judging by the reviews I’m getting.

I treat writing like any other job. I do a little every day at the same time, before I go out to work as a gardener. In the winter when I’m not gardening I tend to write all morning and then do jobs around the house in the afternoon. I have a story arc for the ten episodes of Josiah Trenchard already worked out and each part deals with a separate horror / sci-fi theme. Part one was about the ship itself and the bad guys were deadly space pirates. Part two has a Frankenstein style monster, three is my take on Jekyll and Hyde and part four has zombies. It’s just a case of filling in the blanks around the framework that gives me and developing the characters.

I chose to self publish simply because it was a quicker route than finding an agent and I was confident that I could do it. Plus I have a business plan that follows ten novellas and a series of Novels that I don’t think any publishing house would have opted for with an untried author. I’ve been a sci-fi nerd all my life. I know what makes our kind tick. My marketing is aimed at people like me. Military sci-fi is a niche, so there’s no point trying to market towards romance readers. However there are elements of horror and thriller plots in my books, so I cover a fairly broad spectrum of readers.

 My basic premise for Trenchard was “What if you replaced Captain Kirk with a hard ass?” Trenchard is heavily influenced by Gene Hunt from “Life on Mars” with a little Dirty Harry thrown in. I wanted a flawed Captain; he drinks, he smokes, he swears prolifically and he loses his temper often. But he gets the job done no matter what. He becomes known as “The Fixer” and his ship, the Might of Fortitude, is sent into the most dangerous situations. He works for the United Worlds Space Navy who are locked in a guerrilla war with desperate Insurgent terrorists and pitiless space pirates that haunt the outer reaches of the asteroid belt.

As part of the plot his crew are mainly young, inexperienced and occasionally downright useless. He has to mould them into an effective fighting unit along the way. One of my favourite characters to write is Paddy McGagh, a hard drinking Irish man who is seven foot tall and built like the proverbial brick privy. He takes no nonsense from anyone and is probably the only crew

member who can match Captain Trenchard drink for drink.

Without giving away spoilers, there’s a series of devious bad guys who crop up regularly including a young female Japanese assassin who causes Trenchard no end of trouble and the Machiavellian Papaver Corporation. Each episode has a new monster to fight, be it vicious pirates that would happily flush you into open space, a deadly cyborg covered with spikes called the “Morgenstern”, or flesh tearing zombies that are practically impossible to kill!

For the tech-heads out there, each episode introduces new weaponry too that dispatches enemies in a variety of delightful ways. Watch out for the W.A.S.P. grenades in part four, a particular favourite of mine and the acid rifles. Each trooper is armed with a “Vicar” assault rifle and as Commander Skelat will tell you, ‘this particular Vicar ain’t the nice kind that you invite round for tea and  cucumber sarnies. No he’s not. He’s the sort of Vicar who sticks a crucifix up the enemy’s arse and then drowns them in the font!’

For the immediate future I’m hoping to publish part five in time for Christmas 2013. The whole of this episode is a flashback and you get to find out about Trenchard’s past and exactly what happened in the Belatu-Cadros uprising on Mars four years ago. Then there will be five more episodes to come after that including… wait for it… a Christmas episode!

After the ten episodes of the first series, I have two full length “Unity” novels at a draft stage and then potentially a second series of Trenchard. One thing is for sure, episode ten will not end well for our illustrious Captain Trenchard and the readers are going to be desperate to find out what happens next…''

 Jon can be contacted via Twitter @JonGardener 
 His blog and links to the Unity novels are at: https://sites.google.com/site/unitynovels/system/pages/matureConfirm?path=https%3A%2F%2Fsites.google.com%2Fsite%2Funitynovels%2F

Thanks Jon. So, as we dig into the biscuits and pour the coffee, why not sit down and ask Jon something. Anything. I promise he won't zap anybody. Well, he SAID he wouldn't....