How to Annoy an Oyster

It has been pointed out that I have actually published 11 teenage novels, not 6. And the current 4 are published by Usborne (with an e). In my defence, all I can say is that I failed O-level Maths, twice, and Shakespeare couldn't spell either, but it didn't stop him writing his plays. Right. We move on.

Last week I went up to London, to see Talented Daughter. As I live outside the Great Wen, I usually action this by getting a train to St Pancras, then use my Pensioner Bus Pass to move round the city: it's free. Here where I live, it is customary to greet the bus driver on boarding and tell him/her where you are heading, then thank him/her on leaving. Sometimes, if it's a regular driver, they will even set you down pretty much wherever you want.

Bear this info in mind for what follows. I leave St P and board a No.30 bus. I greet the driver, telling him politely but with a smile that I want to go to Marble Arch. Absolute silence. Hard stare. Unh. Forgot unwritten rule no 1: Don't speak to bus drivers in London. Slightly freaked, I then place my bus pass chip-side down on the Oyster thingy. Box lights up; red light starts flashing; loud beeping noise. Eye-rolling from driver.  Unwriten rule 2: Bus passes are not Oyster cards.

Creep upstairs and huddle in seat. At Marble Arch, automatically shout 'thanks' down the bus as I get off. Bemused stares from rest of passengers. Unwritten rule 3: Do not annoy bus users by indulging in bizarre behaviour. And half of Oxford Street has been dug up, probably something to do with the Olympics, as everything in London is nowadays. Relieved to get back to rural homeland and stick straws back in hair. I really don't get London at all.

This week, I am going to discuss the cover for my e-book with Dave the Designer. Discussion will probably involve me telling what I want, and him indicating that as he doesn't tell me how to write, I don't tell him how to design. Which is fair enough. The cover is the first thing people will see online, so it is important. I'd like readers to realise, even before they read the blurb that this book is: Victorian, dark,mysterious,and with a diamond. (Feisty heroine/London setting/detectives/werewolf are added extras). I will attempt to scan and put cover on blog so that you can comment. Beloved Husband has just kindly delivered pint mug of coffee before going down to pub to watch Newcastle game. De-blogging.