Who was it said they wished there was a stair lift that reached the top landing before you'd forgotten why you wanted to go up there in the first place? No, I don't know either, but the first three words of that sentence are currently proving to be rather a leitmotiv for my life. Do not get me wrong: I love entering vintagedom. The hair has never been redder, the attitude sassier or feistier and as for caring what the world and its partner thinks of me, I'm so waay ahead of Rhett Butler.
And yet, over and above all the feist and sass and damn, there are moments when stuff .... well ... somehow eludes me. A realization that was brought home vividly the other week as I stood outside a John Lewis store cursing because it was shut, and suddenly perceived the reason I couldn't get in was because I was pushing a door marked pull. Similarly, when I arrived back home minus the things I'd bought as I'd managed to mislay them somewhere between the counter where I paid for them and the homeward journey. And again the time I had a full-on public row with the Automated EE woman because I dropped my credit card while topping up the mobile on a moving bus and she didn't do ''hang on, just got to pick up the credit card''.
No, I am not going gaga, to use the medical terminology. Just getting a little .... what's the word I'm groping for? Yes, that. Like the other day I was waiting at the bus stop to catch the Luton bus, when I was actually supposed to be catching the St Albans bus which comes on the opposite side of the road and goes in the opposite direction. Fortunately remembered just as it turned the corner. Poor bus driver nearly had a heart attack as I dived in front of his wheels, arm outstretched.
Then there is the mobile phone. I put it down. Somewhere. Most of the calls to my mobile are me ringing it from the landline to find out where it is, having looked up the number beforehand because I can never ... umm ... thingy ...it. Thank goodness it's only a cheapo Nokia, suitable for the technically challenged and easily replaceable if I ever flush it down the loo. Which is always a possibility. Gawd knows what might happen if I had one of those £700 bendy i-Phone 6 things.
My best friend Elissa and I have these ... whatsits ... every time we go out together. Sometimes we find ourselves driving along somewhere without the slightest clue where we're supposed to be heading, though we knew when we started out. Or we can't find her silver Toyota in a multi-storey though in our defence there are always so many silver Toyotas in multi-storeys, silver being the go-to colour for most modern cars that it isn't really our fault. We have been reduced to pacing the aisles clicking her key fob in the hope that the car will respond eventually.
It's infuriating, but there appears to be nothing I can do to prevent it happening. And it does seem to be happening with alarming frequency. Whatever it is. So there you are ... who are you again? Anyway, you'll have to excuse me now: I have an elsewhere to be. Or I will have, once I can remember where the hell it is.
SEE ALSO: Aldi Antics http://carolhedges.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/aldi-antics.html
Transports of Delight http://carolhedges.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/transports-of-delight.html
If you would like to read my short story 'The Fair Infanta' on Wattpad, you can do so HERE
We all know what that's like, Carol. However much we rage against it those forgetful moments are always ready to pounce.
ReplyDeleteSome years ago I wrote a little poem entitled 'I Wish I Could Ring Up My Glasses' - when we lose our phones we ring them, but glasses have no tracking device. The hours I spend looking for the wretched things!!
and keys ...tho I think you can get something to make them answer you...
DeleteOh, I so know what you mean. I am resorting to carrying a notebook around everywhere I go, along with the one in the living room, bedroom ect...
ReplyDeleteFopr if I don't write it down, it doesn't get done (or remembered)
I lose notebooks....says it all
DeleteAw cripes, Carol, PStJ is gettin' a bit loike that, but loike yew, it don't stop 'im rushin' around an' writin' fings. Just as well though that 'ee's got me ter remember 'im stuff, an' correct 'is English spellin' an' grammar. Any'ow, thank yew fer postin' this blog, it gave me a real good chuckle. Luv from Jenno...
ReplyDeleteAhh, so you were the one following me around as I went to thingy to get the wotsits
ReplyDeletedepends if it was you. Might have been someone else I follow a lot of people in the hope that they might be able to help me out...
DeleteI would blame the things like that I do on age (72) but I also did them at 30.
ReplyDeleteLove it, CarolStar. Me too - on almost every count! xxx
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's a bit scary when you can't remember why you went upstairs and then remember again when you're at the bottom. A few things have happened lately that have really scared me but Im putting it down to stress and hopefully I'll find my brain soon again. Great post Carol.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world! I blame the memory lapses on overwork. We are not old, you and me! OK so you're a few weeks older than me... and I hate to push the point but you always will be!!
ReplyDeleteTake heart. So few things we fill up our days with actually matter. You don't lose much by forgetting them...except maybe having left your packages someplace. That can get expensive.
ReplyDeleteFabulous post!
ReplyDeleteThanks hon..maybe they'll have sorted a drug out for you before you get to where I am!
DeleteAs always, a sharply observed humorous post that many of us (if not all) can relate to. I do remember a friend's 8 yr old son asking, from the top of the stairs, what had he come up to get. So it's not always age related.
ReplyDeleteBut if you're talking dopiness - the other day I left my purse on the counter of a shop. When I got home, found the purse missing, I cancelled all the cards. I eventually remembered where I'd last seen the thing, and went back to the shop, on the off chance, and yes, they'd put safely away for me, and nothing was touched! Only now I've no cards till the replacements arrive.
That is soooo annoying..and I have done something similar (of course) it's that PANIC thing that someone will empty your account, isn't it?
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