Sunday, 8 April 2018

Of Mice and Moan


Every now and then Hedges Towers is invaded by mice. They come in from the cold, like in a John le Carre novel. Unlike in a John le Carre novel, they then find themselves face to face with a small tortoiseshell cat with a rodent fixation. They do not survive long. Unless I get out of bed at 3.35am in the morning and rescue them. Or as the cat thinks: join in the fun, but then selfishly take the small furry toy away.

I tracked their current invasion to under the kitchen sink. There is a square hole where the water pipes go out. After the last invasion I'd blocked it up, but fitting a new outside tap on the Summer meant it had been unblocked. I re-blocked and applied peppermint oil. Cat then spent two nights staring fixedly at the cupboard door, like a replica of that old HMV advert with a small dog and a wind-up gramophone - but this time with a cat and a cupboard.

Sadly, misfortunes like buses always arrive in pairs. I now discover that I must expend a shedload of money on new glasses.This is because our nice local optician told me on Friday that my reading glasses had basically 'had it' - I think she used some technical word, but the bottom line is, they can't bend them back into shape any more without the whole frame breaking apart. And the little nose thingies have split and cannot be replaced.

Most of the damage has been done over the years by me putting them down to do closeup reading and then lying on them. Or dropping them off various surfaces and then stepping on them while trying to find them again. The rest of the damage has been done by Little G and Small. Apparently grandchildren are a HUGE source of glasses damage. Who knew?

So a frustrating hour was spent trying on alternative glasses - frustrating because I basically want The Identical Frames and they no longer make them. And I am so flaming short sighted that I can't 'see' myself clearly in new frames without coming within licking distance of the mirror, which is undignified on so many fronts.

The frames I like: the ones where you only have actual bits at the sides, (I refuse to channel Irene Apfel) cost over £350 - I have an unerring knack of picking out the most expensive stuff. And the lenses - don't go there. Trouble is, no glasses, no writing life. Currently we are scrabbling around down the back of the sofa and tipping out the penny jar.

So, if anybody with a mouse problem wants to hire a small tortoiseshell cat - completely unreasonable rates, but mouse problem pretty well guaranteed to be solved, please apply. Elderly myopic writer needs new glasses to write blockbuster to pay for new glasses.

11 comments:

  1. I feel your pain on both counts, Carol. The cost of glasses is ridiculous. However, if I didn't have my glasses then maybe I wouldn't see the mice!! ;)

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    1. Absolutely! I despair over the glasses. Both OH and I have 2 pairs each, all 4 frameless. The number of times we've put on each others and panicked that we were losing our eyesight!

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  2. Wait til you have to get varifocals. Nightmare.

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    1. I tried them ...couldn't get along with them at all...that's why I have 2 pairs.

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    2. I love my varifocals. But reading prescription is not huge so not too much variation. It was great to be able to see the road while driving AND be able to see how fast I was going.

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  3. Good luck in securing new specs, and congratulations for possessing a good hunter kitty. Not all cats and dogs are good hunters. The mice will figure out what's up and leave you alone. Good kitty!

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  4. Oh the indignities of aging - I know just what you mean about glasses! I have bifocals which are mostly wonderful, except on stairs. So I’m the crone clinging to the bannister. Or - when I was away - guided by Tika’s daughter who loved the role of stair monitor!

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  5. I have been reliably informed that I need new eyes, as opposed to new glasses. And when these blessed cataracts have grown a little bit more, they have promised me vast improvements. Can't happen soon enough, as writing is hard enough as it is...

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    1. I have them also. One has been done...amazing...the other one isn't bad enough yet..

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  6. We have the mouse problem too. Shame there is a channel crossing to be done or I'd be the first to hire the mouse terminator. Re the glasses, do you know your prescription? I buy all my glass online. Cheap, rimless, and as I do the same as you damage wise, it's not so painful when you need a new pair. Mine usually cost about €30. I use Brillen24.nl (actually a German firm), but there may be anUK equivalent.

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