Monday, 7 March 2016

Talk the Talk (Adventures of L-PLate Gran)


Little G has started speaking in scribble. You must be mad and I are not sure whether this is a sign of great intelligence, or just a crafty method of ignoring us. I suspect it is her way of defying the numerous 'no's' and prohibitions that now arrive in her life on a daily basis.

She's sticking up the toddler two-fingers to the silly adults that refuse to let her go out in the freezing cold clad just in her vest, bunny slippers and pink sparkly ballet skirt. Or demand she has a nap when she doesn't want one.

'Gdnoty blurns fnadzin imbana,' she says, staring me in the face while making extravagant waving movements with both hands.

'Do you want a banana?' I ask.

She shakes her head.

'Blnrr rnhhststs abcdondly,' she says, giving me a palms-up.

I frown, shake my head. She is delighted. The one-sided conversation continues with Little G chatting away in fluent rubbish, and me tailing along verbally in her wake, feeling inadequate. Role reversal, that's what it's all about.

Mind you, thinking about the illogical stuff I catch myself saying to her, I can see why she has decided to launch a verbal counter attack.

'Unless you put your socks on, there won't be any ice cream after lunch,' I say.

'Stop wasting that fruit. Apples don't grow on trees,' I say.

'Don't pull Grandma's hands or they'll fall off,' I say.

See what I mean? Multiply that by whatever nuttiness You must be mad comes out with when I'm not minding Little G, and you can quite understand why, it's all gdnffgry imbdilly drncklow ... can't you?


To be continued ...   ....





16 comments:

  1. Neither can I nor will I translate this language, sorry.

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    1. It asks not for translation..I think that's the whole point of it!

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    2. OK, it was a bad joke. Never knew it was that bad

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    3. I knew that was what it was ..now translate into 6 different languages...hahaha)

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  2. Brilliant! I had a conversation with my teenage son the other day which needed to be translated to me by my teenage daughter - there was a huge amount of mumbling (apparently the normal level of volume for a fifteen-year-old!) and slang that I didn't know existed. I shut myself away in my office eventually and hoped he hadn't just asked me if he could tattoo his eyelids!!! ;-)

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    1. Ah. Yes. D has all that to come....

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  3. This had me and my OH in stitches this morning. We've been there & we're almost out the other side with real conversation.

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  4. I recall to clearly grandson's frustration when I had no idea what a 'purple' was - I offered everything from biscuits to trips to the park. He just shouted purple over and over - and then led me to the fruit bowl and pointed to an apple. With a look that said, 'I'm beginning to see that you are truly stupid!'

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    1. It's the accompanying hand gestures that are amazing! And baffling.

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  5. lol. So funny. I miss the gobble-de-gook years. Mind you, having recently entered the brain-fog years I'm coming out with a few de-gooks of my own these days ;)

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    1. She is enjoying getting one over on us..you can see it at the back of her eyes...

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  6. Having been through this not so long ago with Toots, I can sympathise! The expressions on her face when I couldn't understand her were priceless. When a small child thinks you are utterly brain dead it puts your life into perspective 😂😂😂😂

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    1. Totally...the eye rolling....and sighing....

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  7. I'm even reading these posts to K these days. He looks forward to them as much as I do. Carol, Little G is a little madam, but a very funny one and I'm guessing as smart as they can be! If she can get one over on you, she must be...I love her gobbledegook :)

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    1. thanks. She is fun..thoug the meltdowns are taxing.

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  8. I know exactly what you mean Caol. The good thing about toddlers having a big sister is the big sister can translate for you. Sometimes she just shrugs her shoulders as if to say,"how would I know?"

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