Saturday, 12 March 2016

Of Mice and Moan



Every now and then Hedges Towers is invaded by mice. They come in from the cold, like in a John le Carre novel. Unlike in a John le Carre novel, they then find themselves face to face with a small tortoiseshell cat with a rodent fixation. They do not survive long. Unless I get out of bed at 3.35 in the morning and rescue them. Or as the cat thinks: join in the fun, but then selfishly take the small furry toy away.

I tracked their current invasion to under the kitchen sink. There is a square hole where the water pipes go out. After the last invasion I'd blocked it up, but fitting a new outside tap meant it had been unblocked. Re-blocked and applied peppermint oil. Cat then spent two nights staring fixedly at the cupboard door, like a replica of that old HMV advert - but with a cat and a cupboard.

Sadly, misfortunes like buses always arrive in pairs. I now discover that I must expend a shedload of money on new glasses.This is because our nice local optician told me on Wednesday that my glasses had basically 'had it' - I think she used some technical word, but the bottom line is, they can't bend them back into shape any more without the whole frame breaking apart. And the little nose thingies have split and cannot be replaced.

Most of the damage has been done over the years by me putting them down to do closeup reading and then lying on them. Or dropping them off various surfaces and then stepping on them while trying to find them again. The rest of the damage has been done by Little G. Apparently grandchildren are a HUGE source of glasses damage. Who knew?

So a frustrating hour was spent trying on alternative glasses - frustrating because I basically want The Identical Frames and they no longer make them. And I am so flaming short sighted that I can't 'see' myself clearly in new frames without coming within licking distance of the mirror, which is undignified on so many fronts.

The frames I like (the ones where you only have actual bits at the sides, I refuse to channel Irene Apfel) cost over £350 - I have an unerring knack of picking out the most expensive stuff. And the lenses - don't go there. Trouble is, no glasses, no life. Currently we are scrabbling around down the back of the sofa and tipping out the penny jar.

So, if anybody with a mouse problem wants to hire a small tortoiseshell cat - completely unreasonable rates, but mouse problem pretty well guaranteed to be solved, please apply. Elderly myopic writer needs new glasses to write blockbuster to pay for new glasses.

14 comments:

  1. Yes, as promised a pic and she plays a huge part in the post. Ausone will be very satisfied.
    Glasses? I don't care, they are on my nose, I don't see 'em.

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    1. You are lucky. Such is my astigmatism that I have t swap glasses for own eyes. Thus accidents occur.

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    2. Broke my cheapos (1.50€) last Monday morning in bed. Fortunately Milady uses the same strength and has 3 or 4 of them (the cheapos).

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  2. Glasses - grr. Why can't we ring them up? It's easy to find a lost phone - glasses need some sort of tracking device too.

    And my optician is wonderful - didn't blink when I explained that the nose thingy was held on with glue because it fell of when I was up a mountain in Nepal!

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    1. Sounds sooo much better than: the baby took a bite out of them ..

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  3. I have exactly the same problem with looking at myself through new glasses; recently had to pay £500 for new ones because of my astigmatism etc. These are my long distance, driving glasses. I have a very old pair of reading glasses and I buy daily contact lenses, but I can't read the computer with them so I have magnifying glasses too (which are always going missing). In my next life I'm going to be an optician.

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  4. Look, without the glasses you won't see the mice! There you go...problem solved... :)

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  5. Hi Carol, When in Germany a couple of years ago,staying on a nice farm with dogs and horses, we discovered that we also had mice. Now, I like any furry creature, but took to getting up in the night (unfortunately have sevaral wee problems and need to go a few times :) ) and finding my slippers, bashing them hard to make sure the furry critters were not lodged within and then trudging off to the loo, stark naked apart from the slippers, secure that I would not inadvertanly squash a little darling. I discovered that German mice enjoy dark chocolate and leave the milk type untouched. Sad for hubby, happy me :) As for glasses, need an alarm on mine xxx

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    1. Oh same here...and keys .........don't get me started on keys! I swear they have a life of their own.

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  6. Life has become much simpler since I had my real eyes replaced by bionic ones six years ago (ok so I just had cataracts, but that doesn't sound half so interesting). Now, I just order glasses online as my prescription is so simple! Cheap, plastic and so cheerful I've got four pairs in different colours, but I still manage to lose them regularly. Under the car seat is a common hiding place. Lord knows how they get there...I suspect everyone except me of course. As for mice, we have them too...every autumn and spring. I set humane traps, but as they always come at night, it means that either K or I have to head out into the cold to take them far enough away so they don't come back...we've learnt the hard way that two kms is the minimum!

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  7. Glasses are horrendously expensive! I know only too well, I have to have two pairs - one as a spare - just in case....Can’t do anything without them unfortunately :( Hate those nose thingies though, I always have the moulded ones, so much more comfortable.

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  8. What a wonderful puss Carol. We had a tortie and white cat called Sarah who looked just like her. She was marvellous, much loved and always remembered - a cat with real personality - she even gave away her food to other cats out of kindness

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