Monday 7 September 2015

Talk the Talk (Adventures of L-Plate Gran)


Pushing a baby round town is giving me a whole new insight into the way we (you, I don't do this) use bad language in the street. On several occasions I have had to TALK LOUDLY to Little G as some person has passed by us, swearing liberally while on their mobile. The last thing I need is for Big Ears the Baby to tell You must be mad to **** - off.

Little G is now sixteen months old, and has a wide vocabulary. She soaks up words and songs, often joining in conversations when a word occurs that she recognises. Thus the need to monitor and sometimes censor the language she is exposed to. I am adept at giving miscreants The Hard Stare.

However there is one word she has learned that You must be mad is NOT happy about. Little G has started saying 'Wor - ah' when she wants a drink. She has picked it up from somewhere and it seems to have stuck. Thus we are out and about in town, when this little voice pipes up from the buggy in fluent Estuary English: 'Wor - ah?'

Last week I decided to have a purge on the ubiquitous glottal stop. Whenever she asked for a drink, what she got was some WaTer. Carefully enunciated and in my best Home Counties accent. Thought I'd cracked it. But the best laid schemes of mice and gran gang aft aglay. Next day, we're on the bus going to Baby Rhyme Time, when the little voice suddenly pipes up hopefully:  'Wor - Tah?'

I still have so much to learn.

To be continued ...     ....




10 comments:

  1. *giggles*... could be worse... my eldest love the 'Fat Controller' (from the Thomas Tank stories) when he was little... thank your lucky stars you're not trying to cover up shouts of 'F-uk-in-toller' while out... The moral of the story... don't let Little G watch Thomas ;o)

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    1. Oh No!!! I dread this happining. Coz it will. On my watch. And I will get into trouble!

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    2. Ah, but then you'll have more blogger fodder..and your readers... more giggles. :)

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  2. I am trying to make my granddaughter start using the letter R. She calls me Gan or Dan so I keep rolling my best Scottish Rs at her rrrrrrr Grrran. As yet, no progress.

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    1. Haha...she will suddenly come out with something wholly inappropriate, which will then ''stick'' forever!

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  3. Oh the delights of children's pronunciations - most seem to mis-hear the middle consonants. My granddaughter still talks of 'flowlers'; for years her mother put the 'l' right in the middle of field. She'll get there! (And then, in her teens, she'll drop the 't' again, just to irritate you!)

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    1. By then I won't be minding her...so it won't be my problem!

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  4. I'll never forget when I brought my two to London in the late eighties. One was five and the other seven. They'd always spoken my middle of the road but quite careful English. Within hours of mixing with some London cousins, all consonants seemed to vanish. I'll never forget the younger one calling her father and saying ' 'allo Da'aay'. I still cringe when I think of it. Luckily, it didn't last, but you have my sympathies!

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  5. Haha! I grew up in Sheffield - 'watter', anyone? Mind you, I had one parent from the Home Counties, and one from Norfolk who went to a posh school that made sure none of the students sounded like they came from Norfolk. & although I was born in Sheffield and lived there most of my childhood, we were in Cambridge when I first started school. I never had a Sheffield accent & never spoke in Yorkshire dialect. My accent is vaguely Northern, but that's about it.

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    1. I was over there on Sunday...we are still channelling Wor ...Tah!

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