Friday, 26 April 2013

Sock and Awe

The latest council folly. Me posing.


A vexed week at Hedges Towers. One of BH's favourite socks has gone missing. It has been missing for two weeks now. The odd thing is that both of us swear blind that we have actually spotted the sock several times and in completely different places in the house. Also we have separately placed it in prominent positions so that it can be picked up and reunited with its grieving other. But every time, it eludes capture. It a mystery. The sock has obviously decided to go and live on its own, footloose and fancy free, which only confirms that life on earth exists in many forms, some of which we have barely begun to comprehend.

Meanwhile, in the light of their intransigent attitude re: our Playing Fields, and the subsequent failure of my sarcasmectomy I have suggested to our beloved Town Council that they should consider re-twinning us with somewhere in North Korea rather than the French town of Jambon-sur-Pain, or whatever it is called. Didn't go down well. Can't understand why. The latest wheeze, dreamed up by a young District councillor, has been to create a series of cycle lanes in one of the popular parks. He doesn't drive, needless to say.

On right: the Roman Wall - now unprotected
Now, you and I know the way to do this is to get a pot of paint and someone with a steady hand and draw a line along the path. Simples. The way the council has done it is to dig up the whole path, and then relay it with a very nasty gritty base and ugly ramps that the elderly, disabled, and those with mobility scooters struggle to surmount. It has cost a fortune and has totally spoiled the look of large sections of what was perfectly adequate pathway.
Halfway through Project Pointless, they ran out of money, so the white fake marble edging doesn't go all the whole way along.

OK, it is all too easy to mock -  hey, see how I have just done it for the last two paragraphs without breaking a sweat, but in these recessionary times, wasting thousand and thousands of pounds of our money on this folly beggars belief and credibility.
Whatever. Needless to say BH and I refuse to be told by some uppity non-mandated wet-behind-the-ears legacy-hunting quisling with more ideology than brains which side of the path we must walk on, so we deliberately walk along the cycle path side, as we always did before it was spoiled. In the four months we have been doing this, we have only ever encountered a single cyclist.



36 comments:

  1. Keep shakin' to the left and rockin' the right, lady! ;)

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  2. Thanks people. We do our best!!

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  3. We have one of those creatures that moves and hides things, in our house. He also helps himself to food, namely that last piece of cake or the like, leaving empty wrappers and unwashed empty cake tins in the cupboard! When it comes to local councils, nothing surprises me, but as you say - it's no longer funny! Loved this post : ))

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  4. Well once again you've provided me with yet another Gutter full of Guffaws!..( always dangerous after several morning coffees!)..and each time I grow ever more fond of BH...I'd also like to request updates regarding the Tale of the Vanishing Sock please.....( I suspect those useless, self serving, anally retentive council drones are behind its disappearance...some kind of pay back for your having 'socked' it to them on numerous occasions!....(I remain quite proud of you still for that btw!).....I may hug you at some point...brace yerself!....

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    1. Hahahahaha. May have to take legal advice...

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  5. I'm sure making a path inaccessible for the disabled contravenes legislation - it might be time for a strongly worded email! (Fun for us on the sidelines, but you must be going grey with all this!)

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    1. That's why shares in henna have been going up!!!

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  6. No one ever makes dog paths...just sayin'

    so anyway...these two lumps of black tar are in a bar having a pint when the door bursts open and a big lump of red tar walks in...

    "what's the story with him"...they ask the barman...

    "Stay well clear"...said the barman..."he's a cycle path"...

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    1. Yes. Thanks for this!!! We actually encountered a dog walking along the cycle path today, and congratulated the owner, who agreed that the whole thing was a total (and unattractive) waste of money.

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    2. By the way...Ralph's nickname is The Sock Monster....

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  7. That explains it! I am now convinced my favourite sock must have socked it over to BH's sock in a secret sock romance. It's either that or my washing machine has swallowed it, but I prefer the first option. I can at least come to terms with its loss that way. As for the footpath that was, you go girl! What a bunch of wallies you've got in your council there. Beggars belief!

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  8. My son has lost so many socks, that he now rarely wears a matching pair - Also something to do with the effort required to pair them (in a busy life) I suspect.

    Paul

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    1. Thanks Val and Paul. Still no sign of the miscreant. As for earring backs....don't get me started....

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    2. Earring backs!! We need to start a support group. I need therapy for the unreasonable behaviour I display when I lose yet another one of these.

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  9. We always say the council starts digging up roads round about March/ April to spend all the money before the end of the financial year. They came and dug our pavements up and resurfaced them with inferior material it's a mess. Why are they bother with cycle paths when they're supposed to have no money?

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    1. We suspect the councillor who's stupid idea it was wants to be able to say 'I did this' when he comes up for re-election!

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  10. Hah! Was it a white sock? Maybe F stole it. Or maybe the council buried it in their stupid path, like a sacrifice in a chimney breast, because you have so often opposed them.

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    1. I may email them with the suggestion - thanks!

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  11. Ah Carol, I love your posts,makes me laugh but you make many valid serious points! Well with the Carol twist ;)

    It is ridiculous what the councils waste their money on though!

    I really must get myself your spy girl serious, love the way you write! l

    Looking food to :)

    Kate x

    Oh saw you wiki page to today ;)

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    1. I didn't do it - think it was my agent.

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  12. Haha. I expect that the food in Jambon sur Pain is better than in North Korea, where by all accounts they don't have any. Say what you like about the French (no word for weekend, etc), but when it comes to food they can beat the Germans. Probably only when it comes to food, given the lessons of history. A great post, as always.

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    1. Thanks Mr Potts. Your support is always appreciated.

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  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  14. I love the way you're keeping up the pressure on your local council with your deliciously vitriolic rhetoric. Do keep sharing. As for the sock, go and buy him a new pair! Go one!

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    1. We do good letters in the local paper too...I think they are scared of us; they never retaliate..

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  15. Carol, you were one of the firsts to comment on my blog this morning, you early bird. :)

    Oh rules. Some just seem so pointless.

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  16. Reckon you should get the council to do something useful- like find residents' missing socks!

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    1. I fear they would have very little sockcess!!!

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  17. Socks have a mind of their own - fact. Ours like to have little parties in duvet covers and pillow-cases and then re-appear as if nothing's happened.
    The real mystery in our house at the moment is a rusty old road sign that hubbie and son found dumped in the bushes on our local common a few months ago. As son's best friend decorates his bedroom with old road-signs (I know, don't ask!) they brought it home to add to his collection.
    I tidied up, put it away somewhere safe until we next saw said friend.
    It has never been seen again. I think it may be with a sock.

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    1. Well, currently the sock is at the Lechlade Festive (the organisers claim) playing with the White Stripes. Don't ask. I have created a monster...

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    2. Socks are like earrings and anything else in pairs. They're a nightmare and a thing of the devil. Best to go for tights, although more difficult for your husband perhaps.....

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    3. I often thonk men must have very cold legs in the winter!! Will put it to him...though I can predict his response..

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  18. Great post Carol. I think I will now do the same as you and cross the line!

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  19. Have you seen the occasional letters pinned to things by the mysterious "Militant Cyclist"? Very odd...

    http://www.daddacool.co.uk/2012/11/st-albans-new-cycle-path-and-militant.html

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